THE ADVENTURES OF SARAH PALIN

You’ve most likely heard of Lady Gaga? What of Mama Grizzly? Or Lady Blunder? No? Well, I’ll bring you up to speed. John McCain brought Mama Grizzly or Lady Blunder also known as Sarah Palin to national limelight when he picked her as the GOP's first female vice presidential nominee.

They were pitted against Democratic Party candidate Barack Obama in the United States of America 2008 presidential elections. I’m not sure why anyone gives Lady Blunder the time of the day let alone a microphone to air her gaffes! The media hype and circus around her just like Paris Hilton, leaves me puzzled, considering the social blunders and tactless remarks they bring to the table.


A colleague of mine described Sarah Palin’s nomination in 2008 as a masterstroke. I wasn’t convinced it was a masterstroke. But arguing with this colleague is akin to having a conversation with the deaf. So, I let him be while shaking my head in disagreement. Palin had been governor of Alaska before her nomination.


My colleague’s ‘profound’ reasoning was that since Obama didn’t pick Senator Hilary Clinton for his running mate (he chose Joe Biden instead) it was a politically deft move for McCain to have picked a woman as his running mate. Events were later to prove this was more of a death knell or ‘death stroke’ for the McCain camp.


The Obama camp questioned Sarah Paling’s complete lack of experience in international politics and some politicians even questioned how this woman could fill the vacant seat of the nation’s President should McCain die during his term, given that he was already in the evening of his life at over 72 years old. And this was the point at which Sarah Palin began her misadventures and gaffes. She and the Republican camp countered this ridicule of her lack of foreign experience with the claim that her home state of Alaska is near Russia and gives her experience in Russian affairs. Really? This faux pas was only the intro of more blunders to come.

Her slip of the tongue has achieved legendary status. In a recent live radio interview, Sarah Palin mistakenly called N. Korea an "Ally" of the United States. What? No way! In this interview, Palin twice referred to North Korea as America's ally and urged President Obama to firmly demonstrate the alliance.


One might even have missed the first gaffe, had she not said just seconds after the first slip uttered: "Obviously, we gotta stand with our North Korean allies." What?


Upon hearing that, the popular conservative host Glenn Beck immediately interjected, "South Korea."

But a star has been born. Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, emerged as the star of America when she accepted to be John McCain’s running mate at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota. The American public and media have seemingly not had enough of her since then.

“American Idol" is a reality television competition to find new solo singing talent and entertains millions of viewers all over the world, but not Sarah Palin.


In excerpts from her recently released memoir, "America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag," the former vice-presidential candidate slams the reality show for hosting what she refers to as "talent deprived" contestants. Wow, this Lady Blunder doesn’t pull her punches!


"Did you ever wonder where the producers of 'American Idol' come up with the seemingly endless supply of people who can't sing but are deluded enough to get in front of a national television audience and screech out a song anyway?" Palin asks in the book.


You may think then that Lady Blunder would not allow her children participate in such talent hunts or talent exhibition shows for talent deprived people? Yet Palin’s daughter Bristol Palin is currently on the reality show "Dancing With the Stars," and she goes on to say that those unqualified contestants who appear on "Idol" are "victims of the cult of self-esteem."


"No one they've encountered in their lives — from their parents to their teachers to their president — wanted them to feel bad by hearing the truth," she writes. "So they grew up convinced they could become big pop stars like Michael Jackson."


In a strange twist, a Wisconsin man angry at the success of Bristol Palin on "Dancing with the Stars" blasted his TV with a shotgun as she waltzed her way into the program's finals. Just the way Sarah Palin is upset at the talent deprived contestants of American Idol, some don’t believe her daughter deserves getting to the finals of "Dancing with the Stars" and aren’t happy about it. The Wisconsin man named Steven Cowan decided to blast his television to smithereens because just like Sarah Palin he couldn’t stand to see a victim of the cult of self-esteem move up the ranks of the ABC competition.

 Despite a history of dismal performances and low scores from the judges; Bristol Palin advanced to the show's semi-finals on the strength of viewers' votes, which ultimately decide the contestants' fates.

Sarah Palin is amazingly considered to be the favourite for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination. She also rivals the charming and eloquent Barack Obama in poll popularity.

Strange things do happen in America. Selflessly and out of the magnanimity of her heart, the former half-term Alaska governor said she "would offer [herself] up in the name of service to the public" and run for President in two years if "nobody else wanted to step up" during a recent interview on Fox News.

It will however take more than her current 'Mama Grizzlies' Video, encouraging conservative women to become more active, to shake my perception of her and her foot in the mouth politics.

The attack on former President Olusegun Obasanjo

The attack on former President, Olusegun Obasanjo, remains a topical issue. This incident which occurred at the Presidential Wing of the Murtala Muhammed Airport, Ikeja, Lagos, on Monday 08, November 2010 was shocking in many respects.

It is alleged by some news reports that the attacker, whose identity was not immediately known, had earlier before Obasanjo’s arrival, attempted to enter the presidential wing of the airport, but was turned back by Air Force personnel as he could not explain his mission at the wing. Some news reports described the middle-aged man, who pounced on the former President inside his car, as mad.

It is alleged that the former President’s chartered jet touched down a few minutes after 9:00am and as the convoy of three vehicles tried to negotiate its way towards the local wing of the airport, the man emerged from nowhere. He ran towards the Jeep in the middle of the convoy, opened the door and started kicking and raining blows on the former President.

The opening of the car door drew the attention of both the Air Force personnel and Mobile Policemen, and they quickly dragged the man out of the car and gave him the beating of his life. The attacker was also alleged to have screamed persistently amidst beatings, “America is watching …America is watching.” He was described as well fed and dressed up.

His reactions, the description of his person and his utterances suggest some level of sanity.

After listening to the views of several Nigerians, it appears that there are two schools of thought regarding this incident.

The first group of Nigerians posits that the attacker is a member of the growing legion of disgruntled, frustrated and angry Nigerians ready to dispense jungle justice, at the drop of a hat, on those they perceive to have contributed to their penury and suffering.

They allege that while the leaders feed fat on the spoils of office, Nigerians, as a people, are at war with hunger, poverty, diseases and destitution. It is their stand therefore, that all is fair in love and war - people in love and soldiers in wartime are not bound by the rules of fair play. The most pressing primordial need is that of survival and this man may have reached his wits end in the survival game.

But was this attack deserved by former President Olusegun Obasanjo? There are choruses of answers from both groups. Some say yes, he was a past leader of the country with several tenures and had a hand in the drift of the country to the present state of near coma.

But the other group anchors their objections to this attack on a number of grounds. Some members of this group argue passionately that the former president is the next best thing that has happened to the country since the discovery of oil in commercial quantity at Olobiri by Shell sometime in 1957. They list his litany of contributions to nation building, including fighting and bringing an end to the Nigerian civil war, introduction to the country of Global system for mobile communication (GSM) and securing debt pardons from the Paris and London club amounting to some $18 billion and paying another $18 Billion for the country to be debt free. It is also argued that as an elder statesman and a septuagenarian, he didn’t deserve that kind of attack, considering our culture and respect for the elderly.

They also argue, and I buy into this argument, that nothing civilized was achieved by this violent attack. We’re not animals living in the jungle. If everyone took laws into their hands, anarchy will reign supreme and chaos will be let loose upon the land. Civility and being law abiding are virtues expected of all citizens, we’ll otherwise be drifting to the state of nature as described by Thomas Hobbes. Thomas Hobbes was an English philosopher born prematurely in Wiltshire, England on 5 April, 1588. He gave a famous quotation describing life in the state of nature as war of every man against every man, “the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.”

This attack at the international airport which ought to be one of the most secured, strategic places in the country, and on a former president, also calls to question the competence of our national security apparatus. We have had several recent instances of security lapses.

The Boko Harem sect, despite their timely warning, ahead of the Bauchi State jail break, set the prison ablaze, leading to the escape of 157 members of the sect awaiting trial.  The twin bomb blasts at the Independence Day anniversary event in the nation’s capital, Abuja, also exposed the soft underbelly of our porous security machinery. The unending kidnappings and armed robberies in the eastern part of the country also point to the fact that we need to overhaul our national security to meet the challenges of the present day.

Our national security agencies, in terms of training and equipment, appear to be using flint for striking fire in an era where the criminals are using cutting-edge lighters to ignite their unwholesome and consuming fire.

ENDANGERED VIRTUES

I was at an event over the weekend and observed with dismay how even the most minimal success goes to the head.

A popular figure in the local literary scene pranced in about two hours late for the event that was already in full swing.

He trotted in, neighing like a horse, and baring his teeth in jollity. He came with a "handbag" in tow. Rather than walk in quietly, they distracted everyone with their grand and eloquent entrance.

 

I had little respect for this person before this event but even that little was washed away after his bizarre behaviour on this occasion.

 

As he walked in, he began shouting, shaking hands and exchanging banters all around. I couldn't follow what the guest speaker was saying anymore.

Not done, he refused to sit quietly but strutted around the hall in comical strides, grinning foolishly. Then he began taking pictures, almost planting the camera in the face of the guest speaker and turning himself into the centre of attraction and attention.

 

That done, he walked with arrogant strides out of the venue leaving his “handbag” behind. About thirty minutes later, her phone started ringing. This disrupted proceedings as we were distracted by the loud ring tone. Apparently our "star" on his way remembered he had come with her. She leapt unapologetically to her feet and cat walked out of the hall.

I wasn’t amused.

Just like the Siberian Tiger – an endangered specie, humility and respect for others are obviously endangered virtues.

'PENIS-BURNING WIFE'

Everyone needs a strategy that protects and promotes their best interests and then hope for some divine favour. We secure what belongs to us, especially valuables, in different ways.

Some do so by insuring their lives and properties. Others engage in daily and vigorous prayers and supplication to the heavenly hosts to protect them and their family. Some even engage the services of bodyguards, guard dogs, vigilante services and all forms of household security devices.

A jealous wife in South Australia has however upped the ante.   What better way to secure what belongs to you than to burn it? Just think about it for a minute. No other person can then get access to it!

It is so brilliant and simple that as with all brilliant ideas, it just hadn’t occurred to anyone else! I feel like slapping myself that such pearl of wisdom had not crossed my radical mind.

The jealous wife, Rajini Narayan, 44 – and a beautiful woman from her photograph – set her husband’s treasured penis on fire so it belongs to her and no one else! Ingenious thinking!

But the law is an ass as they say, and poor Rajini has been charged to a magistrate court.

The mother of three who set fire to the genitals of her husband, Satish Narayan, in December 2008 appeared in court in October to answer a murder charge in an Adelaide Magistrate Court.

Mr. Narayan unfortunately suffered major burns in the blaze and died several weeks after the fire which also gutted the family’s suburban Unley home leaving extensive damage of about $1 million.

In a previous court hearing in January, she had explained her actions: "I'm a jealous wife, his penis should belong to me, I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else ... I didn't mean this to happen. My husband loves another woman, he hugs her," she allegedly said.

The case was originally adjourned until October 30, when she was to answer charges of murder, arson and endangering life. Endangering life my foot! She was only protecting her interest!

Unfortunately the plan went awry. All she probably wanted to do was burn some of the lecherous pubic hairs of her lecherous husband as a warning not to hug other women.

Rajini Narayan dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief and choked back tears during a brief appearance in the Adelaide Magistrates Court at the resumed hearing.

She pleaded not guilty to murdering her husband, Satish, by fatally setting him alight in their home.

She also denied endangering the lives of the couple's three children - who were in the home at the time - and pleaded not guilty to one count of arson.

Last year, the court heard allegations that Narayan had confessed to the attack.
"It's just his penis I wanted to burn, I didn't mean this to happen."

The case's progression to the Supreme Court has been delayed by adjournment several times.
In January, prosecutors said talks with defence counsel "may form the basis of a guilty plea."

The magistrate remanded Narayan on continuing bail to face the Supreme Court next month.

The Baddest Man on the Planet

Michael Gerard Tyson, nicknamed Iron Mike, The Baddest Man on the Planet, Kid Dynamite and The Baby Bull holds the record as the youngest boxer to win the WBC, WBA and IBF world heavyweight titles. He won the WBC title when he was 20 years, 4 months and 22 days old.


Born in Brooklyn, New York, he honed his instinctive survival skills as a wild kid running the streets. Throughout his childhood, Tyson lived in and around high-crime neighborhoods. By the age of 13, he had been arrested 38 times. Tyson's emerging boxing ability was discovered by Bobby Stewart, a juvenile detention center counselor and former boxer. Understandably, Tyson became a boxer.


He often knocked down his opponents before the spectators were fully seated at the boxing arena. He had 15 bouts in his first year as a professional and won 26 of his first 28 fights by KO/TKO - 16 in the first round. The first few seconds of the first round was often sufficient to seal his wins with amazing speed and accuracy - a flurry of perfectly timed knockout punches that were sometimes too quick for even the audience to follow.


But The Baddest Man on the Planet bit more than he could chew in his fight against Evander Holyfield. Billed spectacularly as the Holyfield-Tyson II fight, The Sound and The Fury, the professional boxing match took place on 28 June 1997. The fight would eventually end in one of the most controversial endings ever in sports history - also known as The Bite Fight.


Holyfield dominated Tyson and won the first and second rounds. In round two, Holyfield came forward with his head; their heads clashed opening a large cut over Tyson's right eye. Tyson had repeatedly complained about head-butting in the first bout between the two. This set off a chain reaction as Tyson developed what appeared to be a cannibalistic interest in Holyfield's ears.


He bit a one-inch piece of cartilage from the top of Holyfield's right ear during the third round of their fight. He however spat out the piece of ear on the ring floor as it didn't taste quite right. And when the right ear doesn't taste right you naturally go for the left.


Holyfield, clutching his bleeding ear, complained that he had been bitten to the match referee, Mills Lane but Tyson insisted that the injury to Holyfield's ear was the result of a punch.
It was determined by the ringside doctor that Holyfield even without his ear could continue the match and all he needed for a professional boxing fight were his gloved fists and mouthpiece. Ears are not really an important or deciding factor in boxing.


Buoyed by this declaration and during a clinch, Tyson took a more determined and ferocious bite of Holyfield's left ear. This tasted slightly better than the right ear.


It was salty from the dripping blood but that was how Tyson liked his meat - salty and crunchy. He gave it a good chewing. While Tyson masticated on the piece of cartilage, the match continued uninterrupted as the ring doctor had determined that chewed ears were part of the work hazards in the life of any professional boxer. All a boxer needs are gloved fists and mouthpiece.

The match was however stopped at the end of this round as both Holyfield's ears were well-bitten and Tyson was now beginning to stare at the referee's ears with speculative interest.

Tyson's boxing license was revoked for this biting episode and possibly for his seeming interest in the ears of the officiating referee.

It was not however the first time that Tyson had reached for a human body part. He had reached out a hand for Sandra Miller's breast in 1988.

Tyson was alleged to have grabbed Miller's breasts and buttocks after she refused his advances at Bentley's Disco on Dec. 10, 1988. He was probably considering if it was worth a bite or not. A jury decided that the former heavyweight champion fondled the woman at a Manhattan dance club in 1988 and awarded her $100 in compensatory damages.

In 1997, a group of well wishers gathered at Mike Tyson's birthday party hoping to grab a bite and a drink. They waited until 3 a.m. the following day but the celebrant never showed up. It wasn't clear if he was out hunting for ear cartilages - the jury is still out on that.

THE NAME CONTROVERSY

What should matter? Is it what something is, or what it is called?

I have observed that a number of people who are unhappy with the vicissitudes of life and their personal misfortunes have laid the blame for the trajectory of their lives at the doorsteps of the names given to them at birth. Clergymen and parents have also reinforced this deep-seated belief that your name ultimately leads to your destiny like the rudder of a ship. The belief tends to suggest that one is helpless after being named and just drifts along in the strong currents and course charted by one’s name - for good or bad. The ritual of child-naming is therefore an important occasion in the African setting.

Children during christening or such naming ceremonies are given names that bear testimony to such mindsets that their names will reflect on their character and ultimately make or mar their lives.  

Also, every now and then, a baby name boom is spawned by a societal fad or celebrity obsession. It certainly will not be surprising; looking back years from now, that many children born in this era got christened Goodluck and Patience. Named by parents hoping that the President and his wife’s knack of having political good luck and bidding their time will rub off on their own wards and children. Just like the Obama name rush when he was declared the 44th and first black president of the United States of America. Or the Yvonne and Denzel baby name boom at the height of the musical and acting careers of Yvonne Chaka Chaka and Denzel Washington respectively.

Beautiful and meaningful names are good to give to children but the hood does not make the monk. Only a few babies have been named after Barack Obama in the United States. But 43 children were named after him or Michelle in Kisumu, Kenya, the village where Obama's father lived, by only the end of the election week.

We need to liberate our children from fraudulent manipulations by teaching them the art of critical thinking. They need to be taught the art of listening to all perspectives, questioning motives and evidence and applying independent critical thinking from an uncluttered mind freed from age-long shackles. This skill is sorely lacking today.

Our prisons and a glance at the list of condemned prisoners indicate that it is full of people with beautiful and even religious names. They are incarcerated despite their ennobling names. Our upbringing, actions, inactions and personal choices ultimately decide the trajectory of our lives rather than our names. Changing a name without changing one’s personality, harmful or displeasing habits won’t make much of a difference in breaking the connection with supposed ill-luck.

We should be more concerned with building character than names because character is who we really are while the name is merely a wish - Just as one might utter a “Good morning!” wish to a friend, neighbour or colleague on a miserably dark and cloudy morning.
It is better to reflect and adjust your character if you are rejected wherever you go than to constantly swear affidavits for change of name. Your character goes ahead of you even before you mention your name.

It is more important to train and equip our children with the tools of success in life than become mired in name controversies and their impact on the trajectory of the bearer's life.

I won't be surprised to find that there is another married couple from Bayelsa State also known as Goodluck and Patience who are wallowing in abject poverty and living in penury and obscurity. Disadvantaged by lack of education, upbringing and circumstances of their birth.

Mary was the name of the mother of Jesus Christ.  As such, the name was at first considered too holy for ordinary use. Its use began in England in the 12th century, and by the 16th century it was the most frequently used name for girls. Mary, in Hebrew means bitter but Mary the mother of Jesus was described as blessed amongst women because of her personality, upbringing and chosen role. Her name did not make her a bitter person.

Even when we read about individuals in biblical times whose names God changed, this was merely symbolic of the promises or covenant with such people. They were already chosen at the time they bore their previous names.

George Walker Bush was the 43rd President of the United States, serving from 2001 to 2009, and the 46th Governor of Texas, serving from 1995 to 2000.

Bush is the eldest son of President George H. W. Bush, who served as the 41st President, making him one of only two American presidents to be the son of a preceding president.

It is glaring that their last name BUSH, was not a deterrent to their ambitions in life. The circumstances of our lives are determined to a large extent by our quality of thoughts and the choices that we make. This in turn is influenced largely by the education that we have, our parental upbringing, environment and the opportunities that we avail ourselves. Education teaches us to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character gets you further in life than a fancy name. The purpose of education is to boost our opportunities in life and to enable us provide great service to people. You have to be ready and prepared to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself.

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen (John F. Kennedy). As a man thinketh so is he. As he continues to think, so he becomes.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet is a quote by William Shakespeare from his play Romeo and Juliet meant to say that the names of things do not matter, only what things are.

Drowning in the filth of their character and poor choices, people often turn around to blame their names.

CAN’T TELL THEM APART

BY LUCKY JOSEPH


Good and Bad
Used to be this and that…
Sworn enemies
Agreed on nothing
Went to war over everything
Areas of cooperation?
Not on your life!
Long gone is the divide.

Bad goes to church with Good –
He was made an Elder recently!
He gives lots of long testimonies

A lot of them about is ill-gotten monies
After church, Good grooves like mad
In the good company of Elder Bad
At nightclubs and strip joints
Good says he loves the atmosphere
Seeing the beauty of God’s creation
Parade without inhibition…

Like it was before Adam’s transgression
In the office and everywhere else,
None can tell Good from Bad
He gives and takes just like Bad
His favourite scripture –
A man’s gift makes room for him!
The way Good is going
He’ll soon be worse than Bad!


Smokin’ Gun’s response:
When good and bad call a truce
It means the conscience has been slain.
When the line between good and bad becomes blurred
It is a sign that the destruction of a nation, society or group has begun.
When moral values are no longer distinct like night and day,
Then the destruction of all that is sacred stares us in the face.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy – Kanye West stirs controversy

A topless phoenix and a demon appeared in the album cover released for Kanye's new album. Kanye says the album will have five covers all painted by George Condo.

Geniuses don’t always work and play well with others
Rapper Kanye West is always stirring controversy, it seems. His latest is the cover art for his upcoming album, "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy," scheduled to be released on Nov. 22.

Does Kanye West not remind you of legends like Fela Anikulapo Kuti, Madonna, Bob Marley, Tupac, Michael Jackson and others?

Does this album cover not fall within the kind of prank the Abami Eda,
Material Girl or 2PAC would play? Remember “Just like a virgin” by
Madonna and the burning crosses in that musical video? Remember
Fela with his huge wraps of “cigarettes”?

A common thread amongst these great artistes is the "rebelliousness" of their music and ways. They stir up things, always pushing the envelope and taking us to new frontiers. They are daring, outspoken and mention to the embarrassment of some, the huge elephant in the room (stereotyping, religious hypocrisy, racism, poverty, human failings, oppression and even nudity) that others pretend isn't there. They are truth seekers, sometimes controversial but socially relevant and producing thought provoking works.

This is a source of concern, to me personally, as our current Nigerian musical ‘stars’ churn out empty lyrics and compositions – their only consideration appears to be that it has a party beat.
In my candid opinion, Kanye West is a genius – toss the album cover aside if it is too hot to handle - and just listen to the lyrics and flow with his rhythms.

A WITCHCRAFT HAUNTED STATE

Just after midnight, the pastor seized a woman's forehead with his large hand and she fell screaming and writhing on the ground. "Fire! Fire! Fire!" shouted the worshippers, raising their hands in the air.

“I have been delivered from witches and wizards today!" exclaimed the exhausted-looking woman.

This church scene was taken from an Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria, CNN report (August 28, 2010.)

It appears some pastors in Akwa Ibom State now specialize in delivering the congregation from what they firmly believe to be witchcraft. The pastors charge a fee for these deliverance sessions.

These Pastors allege that illness and poverty are caused by witches who bring terrible misfortune to those around them. And those denounced as witches must be cleansed through deliverance or cast out. Children are cast out of their homes for causing the premature deaths of their siblings with black magic. Some of the children are thrown into the river, buried alive or stabbed to death. They are beaten and forced to make confessions of killings and causing misfortunes. These children bear the scars of being beaten, attacked with boiling water, and cuts from machetes.

When Mary Mitchell Slessor left Aberdeen, Scotland on August 5, 1876 for Africa, her intention was to touch the lives of the people. Mary Slessor lived all her life in the coastal areas and villages around Cross River and Akwa Ibom States saving twins and empowering women. She was stunned when she arrived and learnt that slavery and the killing of women and slaves was commonplace.

Basically, the people then - and even now from all indications - lived in horrifying and barbaric conditions of superstition, ignorance and sickening cruelty. At that time, twin babies were thought to be evil and were cruelly murdered while their mothers were driven from their homes to die in the jungle. Mary Slessor, despite the inherent dangers, moved around the coastal and riverine villages in an enlightenment campaign. She went on to discover sets of twins abandoned to die and saved them - eventually stopping the hounding of their mothers and killing of twins.

Unfortunately, the age of enlightenment has still not arrived Akwa Ibom State of Nigeria despite Mary Slessor’s inspired efforts. It is still a witchcraft haunted enclave and seemingly some pastor’s delight. Blames for natural incidents and personal misfortunes are still laid at the doorsteps of mystical beings or witch children.

Human (child) sacrifices are still being made to appease the “gods”, stop diseases and dispel ill-luck. Despicable and false prophets are reaping bountifully from the ignorant under the cloak or guise of religion.

Babbling esoteric nonsense and waxing scriptural, they befuddle and hoodwink the gullible and leave them impoverished and worse off. It is a case of the blind leading the blind. The congregation - sheep following blindly, unwillingly to challenge the pastors – are forced to perform criminal and self-demeaning acts.

It is far easier to follow the crowd and beaten path than blaze a new trail. The people, especially the parents in Akwa Ibom State, just need to take their minds out of the Neanderthal age and think independently for themselves and ask more self-enlightening questions.

The state government however feels the incidents are exaggerated. They argue instead, that a new Child Right's bill outlawing child stigmatization has largely ended the problem.

But despite some arrests, so far, the government acknowledges, there have been no prosecutions.

“It’s been blown out of proportion and people are capitalizing, on what ordinarily may be a social problem, across the globe in painting Akwa Ibom state black - that is the aspect we say no to. We will not allow the image of our state to be smeared." said Aniekan Umanah, the Information Commissioner of Nigeria's Akwa Ibom state.

Surprisingly, I haven’t heard or read anywhere else of this social problem trending across the globe, where when night comes, bishops or pastors torture their congregations in the name of deliverances and child witches are cast out.

The dehumanised children of Akwa Ibom State are another sad tale in our abysmal depths of human right abuses. One of the ‘clergymen’ in the state was bold enough to say that he had killed 110 of these children whom he had tagged witches.

It is instructive to note that these spurious allegations and dehumanisation of children has gone on for years. It took the broadcast of a video by the British Channel 4 documentary ‘Saving Africa's Witch Children’ on British Broadcasting Corporation, BBC in 2008 to expose the macabre child-witch situation. That was the prodding the state government finally needed to wake up and intervene in the child abuse, molestation, torture and killings that had been going on for months in the state.

The Akwa Ibom State House of Assembly suddenly woke up from a comatose state after the British documentary was broadcast on their channel 4 with a plea to save the unfortunate children of Akwa Ibom state. They shook off their state of inertia and hurriedly passed the revised Child Rights Law, making it an offence with a punishment of 10 years imprisonment without an option of fine for anyone who subjects a child to inhuman treatment in the process of purporting to cure, purge or exorcise a child of witchcraft. The police also swung into action arresting the ‘clergyman’ who claimed to have killed a 110 of these children. I wonder if he has killed as many as 110 cockroaches in his life-time.

Has human life become so cheap? The suspect, with the self-acclaimed appellation of ‘Bishop’ Sunday Ulup-Ayah told the documentary film team that he delivered children from demonic possession. It was a barbaric and bestial video of horrors. If indeed these children had any demonic powers, the charlatan Bishop would not be alive to tell his sorry story. These were defenceless and deformed children with nails struck in their heads, lost sight, mutilated limbs, bathed with all sorts of corrosive chemicals and inflicted with torture marks beyond what words can describe.

Illiteracy and abject poverty is the common link found among the hoodwinked parents that give up their children for slaughter and torture in Akwa Ibom state.

The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, (UNESCO), reports that the number of illiterates over the age of fifteen in Nigeria is 25 million and that over 55 million Nigerians are stark illiterates. Such illiterate minds are prone to superstitious, irrational and ignorant beliefs.

The fingered clergymen in Akwa Ibom State must not go unpunished. That’s the only way to stop the unfortunate recurring incidents of child abuse and killings. This proclivity for deceiving and stealing in the name of religion has to stop.

THE CAR HORN IS NOT A TOY

Have you observed while waiting – like the good citizen you are – for the traffic lights to turn green at some roundabout or junction, that some wise guy usually keeps hooting his car horn behind you? Is this possibly a sign that his car horn works? Or is this a case of an adult compensating with the car horn for some deprived childhood toy? It certainly couldn’t be that this impatient Nigerian wants you to beat the traffic lights?

Strange as it may sound, to some car horn loving Nigerians, those car horns that we constantly hoot as force of habit or at every slight irritation on the road are not actually toys. The horn is a device on an automobile for making a warning noise especially where danger is perceived.

This realisation may come as a rude awakening. I do appreciate that some of us may have grown up as children deprived of toys and envied others who had those attractive toys that we desired. But we're now adults and it will amount to over compensating, if we consciously or subconsciously decide to make up for this childhood loss by playing with the car horn while driving. This distracting, annoying but seemingly pleasurable action constitutes noise pollution. There is enough pollution going on without adding this often unnecessary nuisance. We pollute the air with the exhaust fumes from our cars and dangerous fumes from power generating sets. We pollute the atmosphere with noise from water pumping machines and generators - a necessary evil in view of our epileptic national power supply. Our parties are often noisy and we block the roads with our rented plastic chairs, canopies and play loud music from the turntables or the popular live bands. We pollute the atmosphere with industrial wastes, resulting in ground water pollution and acid rain. We pollute the air and the ecosystem by gas flaring and oil spills in the Niger Delta region. We pollute the atmosphere with the noise from the loudspeakers mounted on the rooftops of mosques, churches and the record stores, and those break-of-dawn foot evangelists with their megaphones who appear to be crouching directly by your window with their repentance sermons and seem to completely ignore where their freedom ends and where your rights begin.

Apart from permanent hearing loss, these pollutions have other health implications such as unhealthy air, stress, insomnia and affect our quality of work and life. The "Big Oga" or “Madam” after - arguably - a hard day's work gets to the gates of his house and starts hooting his car horn for the gateman to open the gates leading to his/her fortress. Meanwhile, the poor gateman has diarrhea and is using the restroom. The entire neighbourhood is plunged into a cacophony of noise as the Big Man keeps his hand steady on the car horn until the poor gateman, sweating and with his trousers bunched around his knees, runs out of the toilet - business unfinished or still ongoing - to open the gate. I'm sure we can work out more ingenious and effective ways of alerting the gateman that we're approaching the house with our big cars without alerting, at the same time, the entire neighbourhood and robbers - for that matter - of our arrival.

The list of noise pollutants in our noise-loving society is endless. But we can do away, at least, with the unnecessary hooting of car horns. For those who were deprived of toys to play with as children, and are now compensating as adults with their car horns, my advice is to buy those missed toys for your own children or children around you. The sheer pleasure of watching them play with these toys and the gratitude on their young, innocent faces will compensate for your loss and deprived childhood. For the reggae music lovers, I know that Bob Nesta Marley in his song, "Punky Reggae Party", avowed that it takes a joyful noise to make the world go round. But that joyful noise he referred to wasn't the car horn.

I've a theory that some Nigerians do not use the turn signal often because it doesn't make much noise. We're a loud people and have evolved a relentless noisy environment. Have you observed some Nigerians greeting themselves in public places such as the airport? They become the cynosure of all eyes. They sometimes scream dementedly and supposedly in delight and slap themselves vigorously as if to cause bodily harm. My advice to car manufacturers for the Nigerian market is to provide some sound to the turn indicator so that more people can use it correctly and with pleasure. It may just be a whistling sound.

The Power of the Green Shirt

In my third-year at the university, I was smitten by the charms of a beautiful girl with whom I had never spoken. She was in my department but in her second-year. The irony though was not only that we didn’t see often, but whenever I saw her, at intervals of between three and four months, I was always wearing the same green shirt. She would cast a pitiful look at me with those beautiful dark eyes and the lovely, fluttering eyelashes. She probably wondered if that was the only shirt I had.

I felt bad and this further diminished my courage to speak with her.  I consulted a friend of mine who knew her well and he told me that the reason she was not often in school was that she was ill and was often on admission in various hospitals.  I was not deterred by this sad news – love knows no bounds, right?

To right any wrong impressions already created , I decided to lay my beloved green shirt to rest so that whenever I ran into her on campus again, it would definitely be with a new look. I gave out the shirt. Unfortunately, I never saw her again after that. Alas, the week I laid the shirt to rest was the week she was sadly laid to rest. She was overcome by the ailment.

Sometimes I wonder if there was some power in that green shirt. May be I shouldn’t have given it away?

Letter to MEND

Dear MEND (Movement - supposedly - for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta),

While many Nigerians may share similar sentiments with you that there was no justifiable cause for squandering billions of naira in celebrating 50 years of decline and slippage, most Nigerians will also find your actions around the Eagle Square venue of the Independence Day anniversary celebrations, morally reprehensible.

Nigerians were brutally killed in acts of terrorism and these citizens have no verifiable, direct responsibility for the current rot and decay in the country which you claim to be your grouse. Your action has not in any way helped the cause of achieving a better life for these Nigerians. Rather it has cast a pall of gloom and deepened the pain and sorrow of the families of the slain bystanders at the Independence Day event, some of whom are the breadwinners of their grieving families.

These were hapless Nigerians already under the strain and yolk of 50 years of misrule. The lives that were violently taken are not replaceable no matter the remorse or apologies issued after this dastardly act. It is a popular Nigerian adage that where there is life, there is hope. That hope keeps the average Nigerian going in the face of the chasm and disconnect between the citizens and the often inept leadership. But even that life that they had, no matter how miserable it was, you have now taken violently. You have added death and more woes to their sad plight by those bomb blasts. The brunt of your actions was borne by the ordinary, downtrodden and long-suffering Nigerians. Your actions are no less despicable than those of the armed gang that held 15 schoolchildren hostage in Aba, after they hijacked their bus on their way to school.

Many Nigerians will agree that amnesty to militants is not the panacea to the ills of the Niger Delta region. There is a need to address the issues of environmental degradation, unemployment and lack of basic infrastructure. There needs to be improved corporate social responsibility and human resources development. But the struggle for a better Niger Delta and Nigeria goes beyond bomb blasts. It goes beyond arms running, kidnapping, blowing up oil pipelines, stealing massive amounts of crude oil, killing and raping of women. Peaceful methods with unshakeable commitment have transformed struggles. Martin Luther King, Jr. posited that, “The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.”

There are a million and one grandiose, political conspiracy theories making the rounds over the actual mastermind of the Abuja bomb blasts. The spun conspiracy theories range from the infantile to the absurd. Even the President, Goodluck Jonathan, has waded in with his “Political Opponents Theory” – possibly colouring the outcome of the investigation by the relevant state security agencies who may now be working towards unveiling the expected answer. But you have claimed responsibility for the carnage and it is indeed a huge and blood-thirsty act of irresponsibility. Whatever the agitations or grouse, MEND should note that the destruction of a nation or any organization starts with the erosion of decency and decay of moral values as evidenced in this avoidable loss of precious lives in the Abuja bomb blasts.

If MEND has any ideas or suggestions to improve the way the country is being run or run-down for that matter, then it should offer such alternative suggestions in a civil manner. If such civil behaviour goes against the grain or natural inclinations of MEND, then they could adopt a political party which will serve as a platform to attain power by contesting elections and seeking the mandate of the people. That way they can right all wrongs in the Niger Delta. This wanton slaughter of Nigerians is despicable and totally unacceptable.

In the words of Hippocrates, the ancient Greek physician, we should make a habit of two things – to help, or at least do no harm.

Your disappointed countryman

Smokin' Gun

Celebrating Nigeria at 50

                               

As Nigeria rolls out the drums in celebration of 50 years of attaining political independence, it is pertinent to note that that most Nigerians will bask in the euphoria of the momentous occasion using lit candles or electricity generated by their privately owned inverters and generators.
50 years after supposedly seeing the light of self-rule, Nigerians are still literally living in the dark. Electricity supply is still a major challenge. The cost of energy is driving up the cost of production in an impoverished economy The manufacturing sector has gone downhill. Companies are closing shops and some are relocating to other African countries owing to inefficient power generation.

President Goodluck Jonathan has however come up with an impressive roadmap towards resolving power outages.  It looks fantastic on paper with radical reforms in electricity generation, transmission and distribution. It is a commendable initiative and timely too, as it boosts his presidential aspirations, especially with the party primaries and presidential elections just around the corner. The President should however forgive my cynicism when I say that we have been down this road before – and nothing came out of it.

Chief James Ajibola Ige (may his soul rest in peace), then Minister of Mines and Power (1999-2000) promised Nigerians, on assumption of office, with set targets of 6-12 months and 24-months periods, to drastically reduce and eventually eradicate power outages in December 2007. He had immediate plans to revamp the power sector. That was in 1999. The darkness and epileptic power fits still traumatize us 11 years after.

Controversy still rages over how much exactly was spent by former President Olusegun Obasanjo’s administration on the power sector and on the auspices of National Integrated Power Project (NIPP) during his eight-year tenure. Figures between $10bn and $16bn have been speculated. He also failed to deliver on his pledge to raise power generation to 10,000MW by the end of 2007. Members of the power sector probe panel set up by the National Assembly to ascertain the true figures and the alleged profligacy and lack of due process that trailed the power project, are now being probed themselves for alleged fraud during the probe. A case of the hunter being hunted. Whatever amount that was spent eventually, it was evidently money down the drain – some allege money down the drain of private pockets.

A major plank of President Umaru Yar’adua’s presidential campaign was the  unequivocal promise to declare a state of emergency in the power sector. He also promised to boost electricity supply from 3,000 MW to 10,000 MW in December 2008, 30,000 MW in 2010 and 50,000 MW in 2015. After realizing the folly of these promises, Nigerians were then promised 6,000 MW, which never happened.

The National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) mutated and became the sinister behemoth called the Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN), ostensibly to serve us better. I imagined that the name change was a sign that the good times had finally arrived. The name changed but the services became even more deplorable. Nothing worth writing home about (or writing anywhere else for that matter) came of out this change in nomenclature.

These are the reasons why President Goodluck Jonathan  must not fail this time around. He must be totally committed to this project even if it is the only footprint of his administration. Posterity will speak well of him if he delivers where others have failed woefully. He must give teeth to the transparent and immediate implementation of the roadmap. He should ensure that square pegs are placed in square holes. We cannot speak of Vision 20-20-20 or achieving the Millennium Developmental Goals without sorting out the issues of Nigeria's epileptic power sector. It is key to our economic transformation. Except we delude ourselves.

The city of New York uses up as much electricity as most of Africa. Exclude South Africa, and the rest of sub-Saharan Africa uses only about the same amount of electricity as New York. That’s the finding of the International Energy Agency (IEA) in a report released last week on international access to power. The 19.5 million inhabitants of New York use roughly the same quantity of electricity, 40TWh in a year as the 791 million people of sub-Saharan Africa said the IEA.

In the index, South Africa ranks 10th, below Libya, Iran, Lebanon and Algeria. All other sub-Saharan countries are in the bottom half of the index. That sadly is where our dear country Nigeria finds herself. Gabon ranks second in sub-Saharan Africa, behind South Africa but 23 places lower.

It is my earnest prayer that the next 50 years we will see us experience the Nigeria of our dreams with stable power supply and political environment, sound macroeconomic policies, a competitive and vibrant private sector and our emergence as the true giant of Africa in most aspects of life.

The City that Never Sleeps

I loved New York City from my first visit in early 2008.  The city has a distinctively vibrant and infectious energy. I met very nice folks - complete strangers at that - who went out of their way to make it a memorable visit.

My hotel was situated at 65 West 54th Street (at Avenue of the Americas). It was recommended by a friend and their service was impressive. From my 18th floor, I had a bird's-eye view of the street and city activities.

I quickly observed that there was a lady in another grand hotel next to mine and who was on about the same floor. She also shared the habit of frequently looking out through her window. Both hotel buildings were so close that had we leaned out of our windows and stretched our hands, our fingertips might have touched - even if briefly. Sadly, neither of us had such a brain wave or made such friendly efforts to reach out neighbourly fingers. We could, arguably, also have toppled to our deaths with the extreme leaning effort required for such a neighbourly gesture. So, it is good thing we didn't. It is a long  way down to the cold and merciless sidewalk concrete from the 18th floor of a high-rise building.  Free falling with no safety net - I didn't think that would end well.

But we did share that common passion of staring at the activities taking place on the street below through our parted window blinds - the early morning traffic, bright car headlights, trucks and cars covered with snow, joggers and those taking brisk early morning walks, all kitted up to keep themselves warm against the freezing cold. As she looked out her window - our eyes did frequently meet - even if our fingertips did not. She always returned my stares unabashedly even if she was on most occasions - deliberately flirting you think? - not decent or fully clothed for lack of a better expression.

The cab drivers I met in New York were mostly funny and chatty. They had an endless supply of witty sayings and humorous anecdotes. They had me in stitches with their hilarious but often  vulgar stories laced with expletives.

They were really friendly - not quite sure if that was because I was a JJC who was being fleeced by the cab rates and suggested tips - but the warmth and liveliness of their company was nice. They were eager to point out landmarks and the history behind them. They often had a good grasp of world events and politics and spoke knowledgeably.

This was just about the time Barack Obama was sworn in as President of the United States of America - an undeniably epoch-making event! There was a palpable sense of excitement, optimism and celebration in the air. I bought several Obama T-shirts and figurines as souvenirs from shops.

I've so many fond memories of that visit that I have a smile on my face as I reminisce and write this.

During a particular cab ride, I gave the cab driver a hundred dollar bill and waited patiently for my change. To my surprise, the cab driver seemed taken aback.

"Mister," he began looking annoyed. "If I had change for a hundred dollar bill, I won't be here talking to you! I won't be out here driving this cab on such a freaking cold morning. Damn it! I would be at home fucking my wife!"

In order to let him get back home on time and engage in his favourite activity with his wife, I took my money to a nearby shop to buy what I didn't need.

"I'm waiting, mister. I ain't got all day." He rolled his eyes expressively. I had certainly raised his hackles. He stuck a cigarette in his mouth, cupped his hands around it, and lit up. That done he leaned on his cab parked by the sidewalk and puffed away.

I hurried into the nearest shop to get him the right amount for the cab fare. It was a busy shop and I quickly picked some inexpensive items at random and walked to join the queue at the counter.

"Cash or card?" I was queried by the sleepy-eyed attendant. He snapped to full attention mode when I produced my hundred dollar bill.

"Cash," I replied. The attendant appeared as taken aback as the cab driver. He gave me a suspicious appraisal from my head to my snow-ruined, previously favourite black shoes. Apparently not satisfied with his deductions of my person and how I came about having a hundred dollars, he called his supervisor who sauntered over.

The supervisor was briefed of the "situation". He took the offending hundred dollar bill as one might pick up a highly venomous and hissing snake. Then he turned the crisp note  this way and that way with a critical eye. Everyone on the queue behind me watched with keen interest and seemingly with bated breaths. Then the towering supervisor turned his uncompromising stare at me. I stared back at him unflinchingly as we engaged in a first-to-blink eyeballing contest. He finally looked away and I was served by the attendant and given my change.

Those are some of the highlights of  my first time experience in the Big Apple.  I had a fantastic time.

MANY FACES OF HILARY CLINTON

Politics is not for the faint hearted. Alignment of strange bedfellows, mudslinging, threats and counter threats are part of global politics. Politicians delight in stirring firestorms for political gain

The United States of America can be described as the bastion of democracy. Yet during the 2007 intense rivalry between Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton for the Democratic Party ticket, there were some untoward “undemocratic” incidents. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton complained during a debate in Las Vegas that her opponents were "throwing mud" at her, while Sen. Barack Obama complained that it was Clinton who was making "personal attacks" against him.

At about this time also, Sen. Hilary Clinton made an interesting speech at George Washington University.

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."
--Hillary Clinton, speech at George Washington University, March 17, 2008.

Hillary Clinton was grandly entertaining supporters on her campaign trail with terrifying and breathtaking tales of a trip she made to Bosnia in March 1996. An investigation of nearly 100 news accounts of her visit shows that not a single newspaper or television station reported any security threat to the First Lady
According to other reports, the Tuzla airport was one of the safest places in Bosnia in March 1996.

Far from running to an airport building with their heads down, Clinton and her party were greeted on the tarmac by smiling U.S. and Bosnian officials. An eight-year-old Moslem girl, Emina Bicakcic, read a poem in English. A photograph of the greeting ceremony showed a smiling Clinton bending down to receive a kiss.

But Hillary Clinton sticks to her own chilling and yet exciting special memories of that day different from almost every other account. Oh well, it is understandable. Everybody’s perceptions of an event can never be the same anyway.

Beyond Armed Militancy and Amnesty

The Niger Delta area of Nigeria magnifies a picture of lawlessness and instability occasioned by pervasive poverty, stagnation, environmental degradation and criminal neglect.

This situation led to numerous armed groups roaming the maze of the mangrove swamp and creeks seeking who to kidnap, steal from, plunder and rape. Criminals mingled with true representatives trying to liberate the people.

The region is characterised by tempers flaring over gas flaring. Oil spills pollute the streams and dreams of these impoverished host communities. Imagine a situation where oil theft, rape, kidnappings, drilling and killings are normal everyday occurrences.

There is however a prevailing sense of accomplishment in President Goodluck Jonathan’s government that the volatile issues of the Niger Delta have been addressed. In one of his frequent postings on the social media network, Facebook, the president celebrated that peace had returned to the Niger Delta as the warring militants had turned their swords into ploughshares. The “repentant” militants were granted amnesty and are now undergoing a rehabilitation exercise in batches.

Militancy is an offshoot of the crisis engulfing the region. But the struggle goes beyond arms running, kidnapping, blowing up oil pipelines, stealing massive amounts of crude oil, killing and raping of women which is the image the militants have created. The ongoing amnesty and rehabilitation programme will not solve the problem of oil spills or that of the poor woman whose only farmland has been polluted by the activities of oil exploration or the poor man whose family members suffer health hazards occasioned by gas flaring and ground water pollution.

There is a need to demobilize the various armed groups and reintegrate everyone naturally. This is a welcome process. But it must be carefully worked out, if any success is to be made of the amnesty programme. Amnesty to militants should not be treated a stand-alone initiative or the panacea to the ills of the Niger Delta region. It has to be part of an integration, healing and developmental process. There is a need to address the issues of environmental degradation, unemployment and lack of basic infrastructure. There needs to be improved corporate social responsibility and human resources development such as youth empowerment programmes.

The amnesty programme on its own does very little to address the concerns of the local people of this impoverished region. The warlords and so-called repentant militants were mostly fending for their own pockets. Their rehabilitation does not begin to scratch the basic reasons for the crisis in the region – which is at the core of the agitations. Issues of oil spillages, environmental degradation, unemployment and provision of basic infrastructure need to be addressed. Those are the fundamental issues that triggered the struggle.