ERECTIONS AND DEMOLITIONS

It is arguably wise counsel never to argue with a total idiot. The major reason being that people can't tell the difference between you and the idiot during such arguments. If you were smart, you should know an idiot would demolish or get the better of you in an argument because he follows no rules and makes you wallow in the state of idiocy with him.

You're probably wondering who an idiot is. And why any human being will be labeled an idiot? The recurring Jos crisis is a pointer to the various levels of idiocy, man's inhumanity to man and the abysmal depths of gross incompetence. But we must give credit to whom it is due. It was OBJ, probably drawing on his military background and animal husbandry experience, having encountered varying degrees of idiocy from both man and beast, who pointed out the different levels of idiocy.

According to the veteran, there are idiots and then there are total idiots. Apart from "I dey kampe", "I dey laugh o!", and "I still dey laugh o!" This was another expression bequeathed to us by the Ota farmer and the PDP endorsed father of modern Nigeria. In case you missed that epoch-making event, the honor and grand title of "the father of modern Nigeria" was the major accomplishment and highlight of the August 28, 2006 meeting of the National Executive Council of the People’s Democratic Party in Abuja.

An idiot seemingly has some redeeming qualities but a total idiot is a cooked goose.

During one of the turbulent peaks of the Jos carnage when Baba was still president, (presiding over the country directly and not by proxy) OBJ in a fit or "feet" of anger at a stakeholders meeting, waved aside the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) as "CAN, my foot!" He went on to describe the Plateau State Chairman of the association (Rev. Yakubu Pam) as a "total idiot."

"You are an idiot. A total idiot. And I have no apologies for that," said an infuriated Obasanjo.

The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is facing investigation involving underage prostitution. It is alleged that he had sex with an underaged prostitute and then attempted to cover it up.

Berlusconi, the 74-year-old Italian premier, is suspected by authorities of abusing his power in an attempt to cover up alleged encounter with Karima El Mahroug, a Moroccan belly dancer who also goes by the name Ruby Rubacuori. Ruby, who is also known as Ruby the Heartstealer, was 17 at the time of the alleged encounter. You probably need to see the belly dancer performing to understand why she is called the Heartstealer.

The Prime Minister has publicly denied any wrongdoing in the case. He said he has never paid for sex, while admitting that he is "no saint." He accused the media, judicial machinations and his political opponents, in a fit of anger, as going too far this time in their smear campaign. If only he had followed closely the incidents of the Jos crisis, he should have just described the media, the judiciary and his political opponents as complete or total idiots and cease further arguments with them.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this previously but do kindly bear with me if I'm repeating myself. It is an issue of a personal nature. Lately, I've been thinking about an erection. It has been constantly on my mind. The way Atiku or Buhari probably dreams constantly about winning the presidency race and occupying Aso Rock Villa. I'm not sure whether to build or buy - the erection that is. It is a bit of a dilemma.

I'm thinking of the erection of a house. Should I build or buy? Have you any personal experience or counsel on this matter? A total idiot might argue that it is the same erections and demolitions that the Italian PM was accused of paying for or buying from Ruby the Heartstealer by the media and his political opponents. But I won't be drawn into that argument.